A little over four weeks ago, I was admitted to the hospital and was there for four days. I had a breast abscess that had been infected with MRSA and I was told I needed to have IV antibiotics and surgery to have it removed. Unfortunately, I had been dealing with this abscess for almost a full month. I had went through several doctors and a different procedure to figure out what was wrong with it, while it progressively got unbearable.
A breast abscess can form due to clogged milk ducts or mastitis that wasn’t treated quickly or correctly. Usually, it is just able to be drained with a needle and a small incision and be done with, but unfortunately mine had to be cut out. According to some of the doctors, they believe that the mastitis I got ten days postpartum never healed correctly or I was prescribed the wrong antibiotic so it lingered in a lump in my chest for a while until all this started to progress, but it could have been the numerous things that go wrong with breast feeding. Thankfully the surgery went well and they cut out all the infection and I am recovering successfully.
When I decided to breastfeed, I did not see this being a possibility. I knew that it would hurt and it would be difficult, but I also knew that for most women it usually gets better. When I use to think of breast feeding it didn’t seem difficult to me. It seemed simple. After having mastitis ten days postpartum and then all this I can tell you that choosing to breast feed is a hard thing. Now for some it comes super naturally. Their bodies are pros at making milk and preventing infection, but some others are not. Some want to nurse their babies so desperately, but because of the toll it takes on a woman’s body, their own mental health, or many other reasons they choose not to or are unable. It isn’t an easy decision.
Now call me crazy, but I am still choosing to breastfeed even with everything that has gone on. I am choosing to do this not because of any reason other than the joy that I have when I nurse. Now that is not to say that if I have ANY more problems or infections I won’t call it quits. I do not want to go through that again so I am doing everything I can to prevent it, but if I do get any more infections I will have to say goodbye to breast feeding.
The past four months, have definitely been the hardest months of my life, but I can not tell you how thankful I am for the strength that the Lord has provided for me during it all. I have cried out to Him so much in the past 3 months and He has sustained me to be able to get through it all. I am also thankful for the friends and co-workers that have supported us those first 2 weeks through meals, the family that came to our aid, and all the prayers and messages we have gotten. And of course, I can not tell you how wonderful my husband is. He packs the hole in my breast every day (while making jokes about how I look like I am a cast member on the walking dead haha) and doesn’t complain about it and makes sure that I am taking care of myself. He has been a constant support and partner through it all.
If you are a mama that has gone through this, I would love to connect with you for support. Or if one day someone you know goes through this, send them my way. I am sure that I will have all the advice in the future for someone who might go through this same thing.
Binding My Heart 